I wanted to write a column on that column and how I hope our politics won’t go that way. But I think Chin and Chai can do it better. At least can show people how ridiculous things can get. I think it applies to self-styled vigilantes too.
Chin: You asked me to see if the person ever do blackface, brown face or yellow face before….I can’t find anything leh.
Chai: Must have deleted…if can’t do race, try religion. See if he’s ever said a bad word about anybody’s God or anybody’s religious practices.
Chin: I can try, but everybody seems to have changed FB profile to private.
Chai: Doesn’t matter! Go dig! Try even encrypted WhatsApp messages. Must bring them out into public eye and show their true colours! Or try past employers. Whether he’s been sacked, terminated or been disciplined.
Chin: Retrenched can?
Chai: Of course! Shows employer thinks he is not productive enough to be saved.
Chin: What about academic records?
Chai: A bit dicey. Now, with all this talk about not focusing on grades. But maybe can see if got disciplinary problems in school. Ever got caned by principal? Played truant? Caught shoplifting or peeping at women but never entered police record?
Chin: I’ll try but don’t you think all that would be water under the bridge? Like teenage pranks?
Chai: Of course not! It’s skeleton in closet! Leopard cannot change spots! Track everything he’s said for signs of misogyny, elite privilege or anything treasonous or seditious.
Chin: I have something he said at a story-telling competition where he won first prize…but the prize given out by the boss leh.
Chai: Then keep distance. Must not implicate bosses. Don’t forget pictures…Pictures don’t lie. Most incriminating to see who else is in the picture. Or whether they take travel pictures next to questionable monuments abroad. Or look at their FB friends.
Chin: Hmmm…You know FB friend don’t quite mean “real” friend right?
Chai: Doesn’t matter. You associate with miscreants, we will out you.
Chin: Actually, this isn’t our job right? We’re civil servants. Suppose to look at policy, not politics.
Chai: Oh yah. Heng ah. Can relax.