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Bertha HarianBertha Harian

News Reports

Making bad news look good

Ways to spin bad news:

When crime rate goes up, say  it’s because of good enforcement.

When crime rate goes down, say it’s because of good enforcement

When rape cases go up, say women more willing to come forward now

When drug cases go up, say more people want to be rehabilitated

When divorces go up, say better to split up than be stuck in unhappy marriages

When MRT breaks down, say it’s once in only how many months and  it’s better than train systems in other countries. Confuse by referring to charts.

When more people are caught entering casinos illegally, say Singapore’s anti-gambling addiction measures are working. Defuse by listing all measures.

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When losses are made, say signs are there will be an uptick later. Or use words like prognosis, indications and confidence. Enthuse to distract .

When wages are low, say it’s because a) higher wages will make you re-relocate, if you are an employer  b) productivity is low, if you are NTUC c) it is still enough to live on, if you are Government.

When productivity is stagnant, blame a) foreign workers, if you are local b) expensive to buy machines, if you are an employer c) not enough Singaporeans, if you are Government.

When inflation goes up, say it can’t be helped because inflation is imported. Blame the oil producing countries.

When you have to raise prices, blame inflation – and oil producing countries

When people cannot get flat of their choice, say they are too fussy about location. Also good location more expensive

When property prices are high, say it means home owners’ assets now worth more. And there are more of them.

When you make too much profit, say it’s because you give good quality stuff. Like always.

When more civil servants are caught for corruption, say it’s because anti-corruption cops on the ball. As usual.

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When anything goes wrong, say you regret it happened.

When anything goes right, say it is because of long-range planning

Thought I should mention that I have started a media consultancy. Called it Newsmakers. Interested parties can reach me through this blog. So yes, this is a shameless plug. Sorry. I hope though that you enjoyed the above which are REAL answers I’ve heard by the way. And which only the most gullible and naive will swallow without question…  




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An ex-journalist who can't get enough of the news after being in the business for 26 years

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