Getting all worked up

Odd that we get emotional when we’re ranked No. 1 emotion-less country. I mean, why do we even care that we don’t wear our heart on our sleeves, tear our hair out and breathe fire? We are a cool, calm and collected nation. Underneath, we are a cauldron of burning passion. I mean, just look at the sex scandals we’re been exposed to so far…

In any case, Gallup is asking all the wrong questions about whether we smiled yesterday and all that. It should be asking this:

1. What would you do when a car cuts into your lane on the highway.
a. Punch the other driver
b. Display my middle finger
c. Show my mastery of expletives
d. Keep a straight face

2. What would you do if your kid doesn’t get into a top school?
a. Harangue the school principal
b. Proclaim on kiasuparents.com that the school isn’t so good after all.
c. Have a good cry
d. Stay stoic

3. What would you do if you got a parking summons?
a. Tear it up and throw it on the ground
b. Complain to my MP and threaten not to vote for him next time.
c. Refuse to pay road tax and wait to go to jail
d. Ask if can pay in instalments or not

4. What would you do if your favourite hawker stall raises the price of its bak chor mee?
a. Give a $100 note and ask for change. In other words, pay. Eat
b. Say “Wah, you buying another Mercedes ah?’’. Pay. Eat.
c. Threaten loudly to go the competitor. Pay. Eat.
d. Walk away and feel good that you saved money

5. How would you feel if you were told your year-end bonus is less than 1 month?
a. Worried. Enough to pay entrance fee for casino or not?
b. Ecstatic. Got bonus ah!
c. Angry. That foreign worker got how much?
d. Calm.

6. You come home after a hard day’s work and all you get is noise from the construction site, gong banging at a Chinese wake and loud music from a Malay wedding. What would be your first reaction?
a. Complain to the town council, HDB, NEA, police, MP and PM.
b. Strike a threatening pose in front of those noisy people.
c. Go on a rant on Facebook
d. Tell yourself it’s part of living in an urban space

I mean, who says we are not emotional people? Unless you picked D.

You can’t be Singaporean then.