I had an interesting three days immersed, or rather drowning, in civil service- speak in a workshop. It’s the polysyllabic language of the vague – and it’s been done for so long that it has become second nature or even expected of civil servants.
Anyway, I promised my very promising class that I would say something funny or semi-funny about bureaucratese, which is really un-funny.
- If you can help it, never use the word help because you can always “facilitate’’.
- Remember that even if you do use help, you should say that this “is in order to’’ help.
- Civil servants always “like to assure’’ people, although it’s not very assuring when just assure would suffice.
- If you use collaboration, add co-operation. They go together.
- Never refine, enhance or develop anything. It must always be “further’’ refined, enhanced and developed.
- If you must monitor anything, always monitor “closely’’.
- Hyphens are excellent: remember to be resource-resilient, process-efficient and, yes, environmentally-friendly.
- This is the mantra: we must always be “sustainable’’ in everything we do. In fact, sustainability is everything these days. Repeat ad nauseam.
- We must always make progress, hopefully “steady’’ progress, if not “fair’’ progress.
- When in doubt, say you will “review’’ but never say when.
- Everything we do must be “in line with’’ a structure/strategy/ framework/ philosophy/protocol/vision/mission. Take your pick.
- Finally, remember to be “inclusive’’.
Just bureaucrateasing…
In this article:civil service, language
Written By
berthahenson
An ex-journalist who can't get enough of the news after being in the business for 26 years
